Google+ Fake Sartorialist: Flash Assassin

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Flash Assassin

I'm swamped with work at the moment. But I just couldn't help doing up this graphic.
Suffice it to say the flash-war has gotten pretty ridiculous, so I've decided to add to the story:

As Steve Jobs and Kevin Lynch start a cat fight. They decide they might as well do it properly.
Jobs tares off his black polo-neck, whips off his blue jeans flinging some small secret devices onto the floor and puts on his two-piece swimsuit and choses his wig of choice; early 90's Whitney Huston.
Kevin takes off his German glasses and chooses a more modest one-piece and goes for the earthy head piece; early 00's Madonna.
They step into the muddy ring having water and oil flung at them by Apple and Adobe fan-boys/girls.

The bell rings. Kevin comes right out with the first punch, but freezes as the mud-fight ring updates it's version of flash. Jobs slams an aluminum iPad on Kevin's kneecap, he means business. Kevin retorts with a Matrix-like slow-motion video sequence, getting three jagged blows to Jobs' chest. The fight lasts for three rounds, with product placement galore; Kevin at one point brings out the whole Adobe CS5 Suite, climbs atop the teetering tower of discs and unsuccessfully tries to body-slam Jobs.
Eventually Kevin suffers a massive system shut down when he attempts of open too many flash enabled youtube tabs at the same time. Steve lifts his iPhone HD laden hand triumphantly, video calling his wife, asking her to put the vegan tofu on the grill.

Steve Jobs thoughts on flash.
So you know where I sit Adobe, bye bye flash. But keep the Photoshop updates coming.