Google+ Fake Sartorialist: Special Package, NYC

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Special Package, NYC

I ran into Richard here just after he took delivery of a special package from the back of an unmarked delivery truck. He had gifted himself a genuine Nigerian totem statue earlier this year and received it just in time to put under the christmas tree.
I did remark to him the peculiar smell of formaldehyde exuding from the package and the label with a biohazard sign on it, but he assured me it was quite normal. These packages are often so fragile that his suppliers often co-ship them with animal parts masquerading as transplant organs.
After hearing this disturbing nugget of information I nodded a curt goodbye and began walking briskly out of the alley. I took the subway, made four random exchanges, boarded two busses, walked around a block twice to make sure I wasn't being followed, walked into a hair salon asking for an emergency bleach session,  entered a department store bought a new set of clothes, hid in some public restrooms (ignoring solicitations from under the cubicle), changed my outfit putting the old one in the shopping bags and then deposited these into a 'give to the needy' bin as I exited the shopping complex.
I then took a brisk walk through Central Park (ignoring solicitations from behind some bushes), I ducked behind trees, sat unassumingly on a bench for two hours, after I was sure the coast was clear I hailed a taxi, asking him to use the most obscure roads he knew in the big apple to get me home, and to make sure we weren't being followed. Finally I arrived home making it up the stairs, only to find two fashion bloggers sitting on the floor outside my apartment drinking coffee from a flask and comparing notes.